There's many little things Emilio does that separates him from the bunch when we're out and about. He 'runs' funny, which really isn't a run but more of a super fast paced walk on his toes. You know that quote made famous by Ali? "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee?" That's Emilio. When he runs it's like a butterfly, his little hands flap and his legs are like watching someone run on stilts. Very stiff knees. And the sting like a bee part, well that's because he has a bad habit of hitting people. That's another thing that makes him stand out. He hates to see people cry. His reaction is either to cry himself, or hit them. It's one or the other and you never know which one it's going to be. We're working on helping him be more compassionate. It's one of the many things we're working on. Bending his knees when he runs is another. Everything that should come naturally to a person has to be learned through some kind of therapy for Emilio. And you'd think he'd complain! But he never does!
He never complains because Emilio is what they call "non verbal". One of the many side effects to being autistic. Emilio has a vocabulary of about 8 words. And each of those words took a LOT of work for him to learn. He can say Mama, Papa, Nana, Tata, wow, agua, ball, ice, and he is currently working on "casa" and "leche". He used to be able to say my sister's nickname, Tita, for a WHOLE DAY! But since his seizure in April of last year he hasn't been able to say it. You can tell he struggles so much with vocabulary. Not just the mechanics of it, but also associating what's what.
There's many books at the public library, along with DVDs that teach sign language and I've rented them ALL. For Emilio it's much easier to learn to sign than it is to learn to speak and it has given him a voice! He has learned about 15 or more words in sign. He knows the basic colors, foods, and signs that go with songs like "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "If You're Happy and You Know it". It has been a total game changer for our whole family. All of us are so much less stressed because half of the time we no longer have to play the guessing game trying to figure out why he's having a meltdown. He's able to tell us if he wants more chocolate milk or if he wants you to show him the pictures in a book, or if he wants to play. All through the magic of SIGN! I say half the time we don't have to play the guessing game, but the other half we still do. And if you don't guess within like 12 seconds, Emilio will turn into The Hulk. Really. He gets angry fast and that's a side you don't want to see!
I guess I would get angry too if I couldn't tell people when I was hurt, if I'm hungry, if I'm sleepy, if something is bothering me. It must suck to not be able to say LISTEN! Leave me alone! I'm tired! My stomach hurts! Or whatever was on my mind.
Which brings me to my final point. The number one question people ask is "do you ever think he's going to talk?" I get that one ALL the time. The truth is I DON'T know if he's ever going talk. Initially, that's all I could think about when we first received the diagnosis. Will he ever talk? Will he ever learn how to ride a bike? Will he ever read and write? Do math? Have a girlfriend? Get married? Live on his own? What will happen to Emilio if something were to happen to ME?!
All these questions have the potential to spiral you into a dark abyss if you give them too much time. What IF's can ruin any kind of peace you're trying to achieve. They rob your sleep, they make you dizzy during your waking moments, it's not a happy place. SO, I just don't think about that anymore. I've learned to LIVE IN THE NOW. Like, RIGHT NOW this minute, this second. I take joy in whatever he achieves TODAY. Things like helping me to load the dryer, put socks in the laundry basket, stack 4 blocks on top of each other, turn on a light switch, place a sticker on his own hand, pee in the toilet, wash his own hands, allow me to brush his teeth. I celebrate these things DAILY. That action, living in THIS moment, has brought me so much more calm and peace than any other single action in my life. At first I thought, easier said than done...and it is! It IS easier said than done. But nothing worth having comes easy.
So enjoy it while it lasts.
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